Be In The Moment

I recently spoke to one of my most trusted counselors about my life long struggle and sometimes obsession with diet, weight, and excercise. One of the reasons I wanted to hear his advice is that he once lost more than 30lbs and has kept that weight off for 7 years. That's a pretty good record! He explained that what he did to loose that weight was to stop eating "mindlessly". He said, "I learned to pay attention to the quantity of food necessary to satisfy my hunger and not feel the food in my stomach." In other words he ate "in the moment." He payed attention while he was eating and focussed on that task. He learned to enjoy each bite of food not shovel it in with the goal of cleaning the plate off as quickly as possible. Then he learned to stop when his body told him it was satisfied. You can't do that and watch TV at the same time! He led me to an excellent book entitled, Mindless Eating; Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink, PH.D. Before reading Dr. Wansink's book I was unaware of all of the influences around me that govern how much food I eat. I have spent the last week eating in a very different fashion than I have been accustomed. I eat much smaller amounts of food, sitting down, savoring each bite. Enjoying the food "in the moment". I have lost four pounds since last Wednesday. I feel great also, having more energy and never being ravenously hungry. I average five small meals per day right now and it's something I could easily do the rest of my life. Highly recomend the book.

Now, I was thinking this morning, "How could the concepts in the book relate to anger resolution?" Out of the hundreds of people I have personally counseled in this area, most do not live in the moment. In twelve-Step Recovery Groups they refer to something called "future tripping". In my understanding, future tripping is when I get all worked up about what might happen in the future usually surrounding one event like a negatively perceived coment for example. Someone says something to me that I take in a negative way. I start to future trip about that coment in my head by worrying about what they meant by it and how it might effect our future relationship. Do other people think the same thing about me? etc... In extreme situations, I've witnessed people imagining events that may not ever happen and becoming extremely agitated, angry or depressed and even occassionally taking actions to attempt to control the imagined outcome of a non-existent problem. Jesus said in His famous sermon on the mount, "Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof." I believe this was a caution to his followers about our tendency to future trip. He was saying, "There is enough trouble in this very day to deal with. Stop worrying about what might happen tomorrow." Almost all angry people are in the habit of doing this. Because anger is so commonly used as a tool to control people and events, even future imagined events. They do not live peacefully in each moment. They are almost always thinking about what they should do next in the future, or "trancing out" and not thinking at all. Years ago there was a Sunday Paper Cartoon called Andy Capp. I don't read the paper so he may still be there. Andy was a "regular guy" who was working class, bar going, sarcastic, and rough around the edges. One cartoon shows Andy standing over an unconsious man in a bar and a Police Officer standing next to Andy. The caption of Andy's words are classic. He says, "I thought he was going to hit me so I hit him first."

Just keep in mind that you do not know what anyone else is thinking. You are not a mind reader. You might be surprised to learn how little other people actually think of you at all during their day. So try to live in the moment and take people and events at face value. Walk and talk with God throughout the moments of your day. Do what you're supposed to be doing in each moment. Stay centered in the moment right now and accept where you are peacefully. Stop trying to change everyone and everything because you can't anyway. Now if God gives you a ministry then do it, but in general don't just do something, sit there. God bless you. Jeff